All right, let’s cut loose! You work hard, and you deserve to go wild. It’s time to live a little and press your tongue up against these 10 amazing pictures of tongues!
1. Sure, it’s a little risky, but fortune favors the bold! Stick your tongue out and press it up against this tongue picture right here so that it looks like the two tongues are touching.
2. Who cares if people are around? Let them watch. You deserve to press your tongue against your computer monitor and run it all over this awesome picture of a tongue.
3. It doesn’t matter if you’re at work! Tell them we said it was fine for you to go tongue-to-tongue with this incredible pic!
4. Look, do you want to live your entire life wondering what could have been? Just go for it! Lick this tongue with your tongue. It’s going to be incredible.
5. Do the thing where you press your tongue up against this thing. Please do it!
6. Don’t do it for us; do it for yourself.
7. Take your tongue out of your mouth and slap it against this goddamned wonderful tongue pic immediately.
8. It’s up to you how long you choose to leave your tongue pressed up against this photograph of a tongue. It could be a few seconds, it could be a few minutes, or you could choose to leave your tongue pressed up against it for hours. The choice is yours. This is all about empowering you.
9. Listen. One day, you’re going to die. It could be years from now or it could be later today. You never know when your time is going to come. When it does come, though, do you want your last thought on this earth to be, “Oh, shit! I never pressed my fleshy human tongue right up against those amazing photographs of similar tongues. My life has been wasted.” Or do you want your final thought to be, “So be it. I go to my death gladly, secure in the knowledge that I possessed the courage to go tongue-to-tongue with my computer.”